Our Mamacita, Maryann Rodrigues shares her notes from her pregnancy diary. It’s the day when she found it she was pregnant. It’s the beginning of her motherhood journey.
1st February 2017 (The day I found out, I was pregnant)
I am lost for words, it all feels so surreal, so overwhelming… I’m super nervous, scared as hell, anxious like I’ve never been and also jumpy like a little bunny… or is that you? Of course not, it’s too early for you to be jumping… Gosh! Guess I’m going nuts.
I woke up early today, because as per Google it was best that I took the test first thing in the morning. So I shakily entered the bathroom with a pregnancy test kit, carefully read the instructions to make sure I did it the right way, did what had to be done and waited for three seconds. 1……..my brain frenzied with a million thoughts……..2……..Boy! This is taking too long….. and 3. Ta-Dah! they finally appear; two bright pink lines announcing pregnancy news to me I didn’t know how to react to. So I sat myself down, took a few deep breaths and allowed the moment to sink in. There’s a tiny little being inside me. I’m going to have a baby. I am pregnant. I am going to be a MOTHER!
A knock on the door brought me back to the present. It was your Dad. I stepped out and all that I could manage to utter was “Positive – We are Pregnant”.
It’s been just about 3 months since we got married. Everything is still so new and so raw. I was just getting myself to adapt to the new place and its people, the new family and culture, the new everything… and now suddenly this. How am I supposed to process so much newness all at once? How do I bring myself to embrace all of it? Am I capable of managing it all? Am I ready for the big responsibility coming my way?
Although it was loud and clear in my head, I didn’t quite hear myself ask these questions. And just like that as though he had read my mind, gently kissed my forehead and wrapped me in a warm hug saying, “we’re in this together. It’ll all be fine.” I eased out at that very instant and knew that this parenthood journey would be worth taking…