What makes you a REAL HERO? Anila Nair, a motivational speaker and marriage counselor gives her take on how you can become a real hero of your child.
HERO! What is it that struck you first thing when you read the word? Probably a star from Bollywood/Hollywood? or a HERO in a true sense like the ones we have witnessed as frontline warriors during these unprecedented times of COVID-19.
Whoever it may be, what I intend to bring you to see or imagine is YOU! Are YOU the HERO to your child?
Today, I take pride in saying that my daughter does look up to me, her mother as her HERO. I can’t express how gratified and blessed I feel to realize this.
Did I start with the objective of being a HERO to her? Not consciously for sure. But I always wanted to be an example for her. An example that she can learn from and emulate thereon.
All of us want to be examples to our children, so that they not only look up to us and respect us but also pick up the subtle nuances of living by example.
I have listed 3 simple yet promising tips and tricks by which I could pursue my endeavor of setting or rather being the right example for my daughter to observe and grow.
1. Be Vulnerable
Never shy away from being yourself in front of your child. Being open to emotions and expressing them is a big strength that you should teach your child by example. My daughter has seen me go through some of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I have been my lowest in front of her; emotional and sad as well. But she has seen me fight those demons and eventually emerge victoriously.
Emerging from the lower times of life is a lesson that every child should learn.
Accepting and expressing your emotions and not seeing them as a sign of weakness is what makes a REAL HERO.
2. Practice what you teach
This is a common area of concern for many parents. We always strive to teach our children a lot of ‘Bookish’ ways. We want them to aim for perfection and be the ‘Mr/Miss Right’. But the deeper question here is, am I the ‘Mommy/Daddy Right’ for them? Let’s accept that we are not going to be perfect at all times. We will fail and falter. The one major thing I did was to show practically rather than teach theoretically. In our practical sessions on a day to day routine, things fall apart, as all days are not always sunny. Not every time am I be in the best of my moods. But I stand as an example of not making my mood an ‘excuse’ for misbehaving or throwing tantrums.
How does that help when she is throwing tantrums with an excuse of “I am getting bored Mumma”? – she pulls herself up and finds a solution to divert her mind into something productive.
Not giving excuses but owning up is what makes a REAL HERO
3. Respect their Space
Yes, my daughter is just over 6 years old and I believe in giving her space. I respect her space and her say. We as a family have made her an important part of our discussions, we hear out her point of view (sometimes real pearls of wisdom come from the most unexpected sources) and thus our decisions are mutual.
Mutual respect between individuals is developed by listening, understanding, and acknowledging each other’s space. I have done that with her, and I am glad to say that she respects my space when I ask for it.
Respecting and empathizing with another is what makes a REAL HERO.
There is a fine line between disciplining your child and trespassing. A topic for some other day.
This is an article that I could write in my space. Now that my little girl is here, its time to unite our individual spaces and have some HERO MOMENTS…
Till then, Happy Hero-ing Mommies!