Our Mamacita, Supriya Goel Khopkar who is a blessed mom of 2 lil ones now recalls the beginning of her parenting journey. It’s about her ardent desire to be a MOM when all the doors of hopes were shut upon. She shares her brave story full of struggles and pain that she had to go through to conquer this battle – with more healthy, stress-free lifestyle and positivity.
I had been longing for years to pen down my deep emotions about motherhood and especially my wonderful parenting journey which started with the gift of being MOM. So here it goes.
‘The Blissful Beginning’… I dedicate this to all those Moms who have lost or are losing hope of “Being a Mom”. I insist you do not back out. Just muster up your courage and keep your hopes alive. For some motherhood may not be necessary to feel complete as a woman. And that can rightfully be a choice they make. But for me, I had a whole different story of my vision and my choices.
Waiting Period – The Most Difficult Part of my Motherhood Journey
To begin with, my motherhood journey began in Dec 2008. It was quite a hard one because it took 6 long years for me to achieve the bliss of motherhood and to realize how strong and complete a woman feels when she becomes a MOTHER.
Initially, all seemed to be casual, but gradually efforts turned into years of waiting and struggle. There was not a single day when I had not prayed to God for that immense happiness which people call Motherhood.
“Motherhood”, this word as if had become my dying wish, my only aspiration. I felt sheer pleasure (for my friends and agemates who had kids) and at the same time had deep pain, failing to have it. Motherhood – for which I had been through many trials and tribulations and times when I felt incomplete, inferior, unimportant, and timid.
All our efforts, prayers, rituals, and not forgetting the pain of injections, medications, normal procedures that were failing miserably, felt no less than a punishment every passing day. Unable to understand the reason and questioning God in all prayers…Why Me??? Still, with all hope and faith, I continued to be audacious with a positive attitude.
Then came a new phase for us when we moved to the US in 2011. A new environment, new place, new surroundings…but the same old dismay as God had still not smiled upon me. Even today I can feel those heavy pangs when I was told by doctors that there was very little hope for us to be parents naturally. It was shattering and broke chords deep within me. And to add to your woes you have people around with a volley of questions.
When your age mates are already in their parenthood phase and your parents/ in-laws are looking up to you with hope in their eyes as well. As a result, a pressurizing phase builds up which either makes you or breaks you. This phase indeed was the saddest part of my life when I just felt contrary to my personality trait (negative and inferior) because no one actually understood my yearning.
This certainly had a great impact on my life. I was putting up a bold front on one side and on the other side, dealing with this question 24×7 like a timid….Why Me????? Each month I used to be hopeful of missing my periods and awaiting good news….but it was still far away.
After six years of marriage, one fine day we finally thought of doing the specialized treatment. I felt emphatical; no matter what the outcome was, I couldn’t let my happiness be sabotaged like this.
In no time, after we made up our minds, thought of scheduling appointments, specialized counseling, etc. (which doesn’t sound good to others). So this time I eagerly waited for my periods to draw near, unlike in the past 6 years when I prayed not to see them in the hope that I may have conceived.
Amidst all this, my husband kept on consoling me to stay strong; “Whether we have it or not, it doesn’t matter”, he said. My parents, sister, and MIL too encouraged me to stay hopeful. Their support was enough for me to boost my morale n hopes, but within me, a subconscious part was not cheerful at all. My wandering thoughts of being incomplete were knocking me time n again.
MIRACLE Happened
Then one fine day we made up our minds. At the start of June 2014, I was prepared for… DO OR DIE … June passed, July too passed, and still, I had no periods to go with further medical plans. Again I got hopeless thinking about ruining our last chance, but to our surprise, a MIRACLE happened! Life-changing MIRACLE!
Before we could think of any specialist treatment, I broke the news of the beginning of my long-awaited journey. I had CONCEIVED! Yes, I was about to start my motherhood journey. I was on cloud nine. Our efforts, my fitness routines, healthy lifestyle, yoga, diets, positivity, and prayers…..all paid off. Finally, it came to ME…rather US. God smiled upon us and we were blessed! I was going to be a MOM!
Exactly today 6 years back, my enduring ordeal had ended as I tested positive for my conception. Nothing in the world can describe the emotion of having your creation growing inside you. A priceless and treasurable moment, when life feels blissful indeed. That was the beginning of my motherhood journey… ‘The Blissful Beginning’.
I am now blessed with two beautiful kids. Thanks to the team of Pregnancy to Parenthood for providing me with this wonderful platform to share my journey with fellow moms on this special day. Stay tuned for my upcoming stories – Marvels of Motherhood (MOM)
