March 5, 2013 (Diagnosed with Placenta Previa )
Last few weeks have been a roller coaster. I have been trying to take things very slowly. Your 7 weeks scan showed signs of Placenta Previa and I have been spotting ever since. Not sure if all those HCG shots and progesterone pills are working.
But don’t be distressed my child. We are surrounded by loved ones always ready to help. Everyone has been asking me to slow down a bit and take it easy. I have stopped working, cooking, doing chores, been on bed rest with elevated legs. Resting is even more frustrating. I can’t stop googling about Placenta previa. I can’t focus on anything really.
Today I started bleeding again. It wasn’t too much but it was enough to scare me and your Nina. Am I going to lose my baby, I asked my mom and she said “No, NEVER. I have faith in Almighty. Trust me.” and she gave me the biggest hug in my lifetime. It was the scariest part of my life. Scarier than the first time I bled. Your Nana rushed me to the hospital. Doctor told us that there was a small hemorrhage around the placenta but the baby’s heartbeat was stronger than ever. I knew than, I had a fierce fighter growing inside me.
I was under observation for the next 24 hours until the bleeding had stopped and I was allowed to go home. Your dad was travelling and was terrified with all the information that was dumped on him over a phone conversation. We were warned that if I hemorrhaged again, it would mean the risk of a miscarriage or that you could come prematurely.
Tiny me, I am just hoping all this is over soon. I am trying to get a space for better perspective. All my life, I have been scared of many things like failing in exams, missing a train, losing my job, losing money on stocks.. and what not.. These whirlpool of thoughts are making me think about all the things that have gone horribly wrong in my life… Nothing is as bad as it seems. All this is going to be over soon and in the end you will be in my warm arms. I am keeping FAITH. I am praying. I am slowing down. But first! I will Breathe so that you keep breathing.