The Oxford Dictionary describes a journey as ‘an act of travelling from one place to another’. For some it’s the journey that is beautiful while for some the destination. Imagine travelling on a straight road with no turns, no ups and downs. Well life is nothing like that, is it? Like any other normal human being my life too experienced many such turns. As the lock-down enters its next phase here I am trying to get my open mind to pour out my experiences on this wonderful journey of ‘Mommy Life’.
The Root Cause
Flashback to 19th December 2009 the day my life took one beautiful turn. White gown, tiara, flowers, rings, vows… guess u got me. Yes, the day I got married. Post marriage life did change for good. I have quite often resonated with the phrase ‘Frog in the well’. Happy in my small secured world. Shifting base to Dubai the following year got this frog out of the well and exposed to a whole new world. (The song ‘A whole new world’ from Aladdin is playing in my mind right now). Blending into the new set up was challenging and so I wasn’t quite ready for motherhood at that stage in my life.
The Remote Control
Sometimes we think of life as a television. The remote control in our hands and having complete control over it. A far fetched idea, right? My changing lifestyle, work related stress… had to show after effects. When we finally decided that it’s time to start a family, the worst had come true. I could not conceive. A problem faced by many young couples these days.
Of course we decided to seek medical help too. But then life has wa way of changing your perspective towards it. It was around the same time that I lost my Dad. Coping with the loss wasn’t easy. But I guess God has His plans ready and puts us through testing times to bring out the best in us.
The New Beginning
A home pregnancy test revealed we were finally going to be parents. Further tests confirmed the same. We were about to embark on a new journey from pregnancy to parenthood.
The 1st trimester was a confusing phase. Nothing was happening as expected. There was a time when I even had doubts whether I was pregnant for real as I did not experience any morning sickness, no special food cravings and no pickle cravings too (considered a must for expecting mothers). It was only after the ultrasound detected the heartbeat that it did finally sink in.
The first seven months were a smooth sail and I continued working. It was then that I made the big decision of choosing between two jobs. The present one or that of a full time mom. Wasn’t a very tough one as I was quite clear what I wanted. Well, certainly not judging women who decide to continue with their jobs post delivery, as both decisions are brave, whether you decide to quit your job or manage both job and home.
I think one of the most difficult jobs for expecting couples is finding a suitable name for their little one. A lot of factors are considered like the alphabet, uniqueness, meaning, etc. But maybe I am one of those lucky few who had just one name stuck in the head throughout (as if I was so sure of my baby’s gender).
The 3rd trimester
A caring family, nutritious food, stress free environment, I was blessed to have it all. But sigh, I wasn’t lucky enough to escape what my stretched tummy gifted me… stretch marks. No creams or gels could rescue me. And as if that wasn’t enough I had my mom and sister poking fun at me as how they never had to deal with any stretch marks (big deal).
I neared the completion of my term. I had 3 more weeks to go but a series of allergic reactions compelled an early hospital visit. For obvious reasons I had absolutely no idea what labour pain feels like☺. I panicked, was clueless and still wondering whether it was the pain or fright but it had me screaming my lungs out.
So finally on18th June 2013, our little boy entered our world and on 24th June 2013 our home.
Here Come The Parents
A very famous personality once said. ‘With great power comes great responsibility’. We had the power to be co-creators and as far as responsibility was concerned it was time for Phase 2. Sleepless nights, diaper changing routines, breast feeding discomfort, trips to the doctor, keeping in line with the vaccination chart, etc. A complete package and we had it all.
Each passing year was quite challenging with a new set of duties assigned to us. Before we could even realise we had entered the academic phase. I read this very interesting quote on the internet, ‘we send our kids to school because they need education and we need rest’. Humorous yet true. I clearly remember my son’s stint at nursery. He cried for almost a month as if begging me to rescue him. He gradually got accustomed to it and we did too.
We bond over various things. He and his dad over football, cricket, cars, gadgets, etc, while we both bond over dance and lately over music. And yes, not to forget I don’t think he believes google much. He is so sure that his mom has the answers to all his questions. But I enjoy being his google as it only gets our bond stronger.
Yes, sometimes he does get on my nerves. I do get frustrated and try to escape to grab that ‘me’ time but then the motherly guilt creeps in. But mostly he turns into my stress buster with a limited period offer of a head massage or just flashes that infectious smile and brightens the moment with his antics. Deep within I know he is an integral part of my world and I cannot imagine my life without him. We still make mistakes. Eventually we are learning to keep up with each other.
Every pregnancy to parenthood journey is unique with a different story to tell. Everyday is a learning process. But one thing I have realised for sure that it’s definitely not a cake walk.
‘You will understand when you become a mom yourself’. Well, I am sure most of us must have heard their respective moms lashing out sarcastic remarks like this at least once in their life. In my case I have lost count. But frankly speaking, Mom you were right.
Anyways, all’s well that ends well, but wait… this is just the beginning. As a great celebrity somewhere said ‘Picture abhi baki hai mere dost. 😉