A Mother’s Confession – Pregnancy to Parenthood is a guilt-free place for moms to confess things.
The blissfulness of motherhood is an emotion that comes in spurts, hence one must enjoy it to the most while it lasts. With no surprise, it does come with many sets of challenges which as “mothers” we eventually learn to deal with some dose of self-motivation, ample dose of peer support, and a recurrent dose of “you have no choice but to deal with it”.
Most of the parental jokes that we heard revolved around changing unpleasant diapers during wee-hours. If I were to say, “That is actually the easiest part”, this may not be something that you would want to know while you are still pregnant. Postpartum depression is something which many people think is much “hyped” and usually tend to ignore. During our prenatal classes, we were educated about this concept however I didn’t think it would hit me this hard. From not wanting to step out of my room to not seeing any visitors, to breaking out in tears randomly and staying depressed for hours at a stretch, it felt that I was not myself and if this is what I really signed up for. Not to ignore the fact that several hormonal changes are going inside our bodies, in addition to several things that were bothering me on the outside, from the way I looked (physically) to the other challenges I was facing such as excessive bleeding, hemorrhoids, latching issues and the guilt of not being a good mother (which I understand will always be there, no matter what…😊)
“How did that mother get back into her pre-pregnancy clothes in no-time, I wonder what’s her diet plan, what’s wrong with my body?” When I used to take my daughter for strolls in parks, malls, and toddler programs, I saw numerous mothers who had kids the same age as our daughter but didn’t look like they have just given birth. This was quite surprising at the same time very depressing. A very obvious challenge that most mothers face solely because everybody is different and so are their birthing experiences and everything that comes after that. I decided to give my body rest for at least 6 months to recover after which I embarked on the journey towards a healthy energetic self. I can proudly say that after almost 2 years with healthy eating, adequate exercise, and self-care, I am getting closer to my goal. I believe that one should choose a sustainable lifestyle, for me personally, I have never been inclined towards any diet trends and choose to stick to our traditional ethnic fresh meals that I have been raised on which I thoroughly enjoy making and relishing. (Check out my Instagram page)
The feeling when you see your daughter laugh, give you a hug, a peck on your cheek, and follows your instructions is priceless and makes everything seem worthwhile in the end. With the passage of time, I also introspected the privileges I once had such as taking a long shower, blow-drying my hair, making impromptu outing plans spending a lazy weekend would be considered as luxuries. Life changes when one has a baby and if I was expecting most things to remain the same, I would be shooting for the moon. Hence, I realized that embarking on a disciplined schedule (at least attempt for one) was very important for my young toddler and myself. It helped us spend quality time together and sometimes individually for me to do some of the above tasks, just pause, unwinds, relax and appreciate the most important relationship that one has with one’s self. However, some days are better than others.
“My baby wakes up with the slightest of the sound” I remember when I used to walk on my tippy toes in my room to avoid any sounds however mostly in vain. After extensive research, speaking to peers, we made the (bold) decision to move our 20-month-old toddler along with her crib in her own bedroom. This has been a game-changer for both the stakeholders (toddler and the parents). She (mostly) gets uninterrupted sleep and we (parents) have moved away from saying “Good Luck” to “Good Night” again. I understand every family has their way of upbringing their child with their sleeping ways and this is in no way saying one way is better than the other.
On one hand, every child is unique as a snowflake and so are their journeys, milestones, and developments however I was happily surprised to know that there were many similarities as well. This is where I have been fortunate to be able to seek help and advice from experienced parents. It’s important to note that the final decision is always yours but there is a sense of comfort and sometimes a sounding board to know that one is not alone in this audacious journey.
As mothers, we do make a choice each day to teach tough lessons, to try and attempt to do the right things, make mistakes, learn from them, and repeat 😊. It took motherhood to make me tap into the strengths I didn’t know I ever possessed. With every passing day, the lessons I learn from my little one is much more qualitative in relation to what she learns from me. Parenthood is indeed a process of growing, evolving, and enjoying this beautiful expedition together.
Did you read? – Utterly Motherly Confessions – Part I